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Tankgirl TG
Officer
Esquire



Joined: 17 Nov 2010
Posts: 30

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re: YOU MUST READ THIS

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Found this on the forums and I AM NOT THE SO THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH! lmao

I found this on our kin forums and could put a name beside each one, even my own. This may be old or from another game but its the first i have seen. Anyway....I wanted to see what the kings of insults (PVMPers) could come up with thats not on the list currently.


The Kin Leader- He's sacrificed his family, friends, and probably a couple of jobs to drag you through new content. When the guild isn't performing , these decisions are in question. Prone to shooting sprees, forum flame wars, and the rapid advancement/gearing of whatever toon the guild "needs". If you cant keep your mouth shut, he'll go emo and quit before you get kicked. Still, you do like the guy. Or did. Before he went crazy. See drunks, below.

The Kin Leader's Significant Other- Okay, so he was going to have to quit but he tricked his SO into playing. She loves it. She's terrible. You'll effectively 11 man every boss. She plays an elf

The Raid Leader- When you stand in the acid pool, he dies a little bit inside.

The Positive officer- "That was great. Just great. You know, only 5% of guilds have even made it to Thaurlach, and getting him down to 67% on the second attempt is hawt." See Stoners, below.

The Negative officer- "Jesus Christ why are there corpses under all these goddamn volcanoes? It's Thrang for %@*@s's sake. GET OUT OF THE GODDAMN LAVA!" See Drunks, below.

The Healing Officer- Has this job because, as the newest officer who plays a healer, he's stuck with it.

The Power Behind the Scenes- He's been here a long time. Like forever. He's an officer if he even bothered to accept the position. He knows all the gossip and understands the politics. For the love of God, don't make this guy decide that you are hurting the guild.

The Hunter Class Lead- Will tell you that it does actually require skill and preparation to play a hunter well in the end game. Lies frequently .

Stratman- Has read every strategy on the entire internet for every boss. Unable to think critically . Knows where his talk key is. Hated by the officers. Likely to play a hunter. If this is also, Chick With Accent-see below, guild will probably collapse.

The Gay guy- Affects the gay accent for effect. Upgrade decisions tend to involve lengthy discussions about gear appearance . Learned to use the dressing room function before the v' key.

The Stay At Home Mom- She's around children all day and craves adult conversation. Babbles incessantly in vent, forgetting that adult conversation doesn't usually begin with, "So I was talking to (insert name of four-year- old child) and he says" May or may not be on speaking terms with spouse. Is muted on vent by 90% of the raid.

Mr. Mikeless- Has a microphone . Hears the conversation and directions . Once wiped the raid because he started talking most folks alt-tabbed to see who the hell was speaking. May be your best player.

The Kid- So, you messed up on this guy's interview and nobody noticed that he was 12. But, he can play. And if he gets a little bit excited when boobies are getting talked about? Hey, he's young.

The Other kid- Remember that accountant you interviewed for the champion position? And how you wondered how he'd make time to raid during tax season? He couldn't. His eleven year old daughter took over about that time. She's been raiding since.

The Drunks- The core of your guild. As raid progresses , their voices in vent are getting just ever so slightly slurred. You don't notice because you're trying to sound sober yourself. DPS output seems to scale positively with blood alcohol content.

The Stoners- Quietly wiping raids since the beta. They really, really, really hate having to move out of the fire. Two of them are dead under the volcanoes. They live in fear of the negative officer. They have their own channel. Try /join (insert guild name) stoners. You'll see who's in there. It'll explain a lot. They're also having more fun than everyone else combined.

The Prima Donna- Requires special attention from management. Constantly whining. Plays some vital role. Might be a main tank, off tank, or lock tank. The officers really hate this guy and as soon as they can find another tank with 8,000 buffed HP, he's out. Not a stoner.

The Chick with the Accent- Is the accent fake? Nobody knows or cares. Future visits to Australia/ Britian/ New Zealand/ Alabama are now planned by all single raid members. The Negative officer will never, ever call her out.

The Battle Minstrel- Hates healing and had to go healer to see endgame. You know not to expect a whole lot of heals from this guy. Warspeech's during boss fights.

The Departed Legend- You joined after he left. You suspect that he could not actually solo Thrang. But you're not totally sure.

The Warlock Whisperer- Directionally challenged . Despite having run The Rift 1.26 million times, will require a summon to Balrog room from the entrance. Has a "summon pls" macro. See (you guessed it) Stoners.

The New Guy- Begins most sentences with, "That's not how we did it in my old guild on Brandywine ." Likely to remain guilded for approximately one week. You wonder if he'll be telling his next guild, "In my old guild, we ran TOWARDS the acid pools."

The Cancer Brothers - After every wipe, they will go have a smoke and hold up the raid.

The a$$ hole: The guy that everyone hates. Usually plays a DPS class, badly, but not that bad. Doesn't listen to directions very well, and doesn't take criticism very well either, but otherwise quiet and decent. Takes all the loot he can get even though he pretty much deserves none of it. Yet at the same time, he hasn't done anything worthy of being kicked, so he's still around and always will be.

Annoying Vent Guy: Holds down his push to talk key long after he's stopped talking and long before he starts. In the background is either, a fan, a loud television, his mother telling him to take out the trash, or some pet making obscene noises. You mute him, but then feel bad because he's not really a bad guy, but you just can't stand to hear what comes out of your headphones when he wants to talk.

The Prepuberty Chasers: Generally clown around in a borderline "bannable offense" manner and will harass any young female or anyone associated with them. Common activities include racism, sexism and homophobia . Likely to believe the world is against them, which is probably correct due to their behaviour. 



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Narnian

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Joined: 11 Oct 2009
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re: YOU MUST READ THIS

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Pherenn is in that list.


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Andismak
Leader
High Warden



Joined: 03 Nov 2010
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re: YOU MUST READ THIS

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been laughing for days about this.
Mythinos

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I'm probably the Warlock Whisperer, seeing as I'm directionally challenged.
Drizzle
GlobalRemedy
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Sergeant of the Guard



Joined: 31 May 2008
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re: YOU MUST READ THIS

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LOL insanely funny, like waiting the movie for anyone whos ever been in the industry.


Drizz
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Freeperson



Joined: 21 Nov 2011
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Teeheehee! How silly!
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